People tend to put me in antisocial freak show category just because I don’t talk about weather. Fuck the weather. It won’t change if I talk about it, but it will make my life a little bit more boring. Or talking about movies. I hate when someone tries to talk about or retell you a scene from a movie. Movies are for watching, ok? Not talking about them! It’s like:”Hey did you saw that new movie, and guy who was like kicking everybody’s ass and that scene where….” blah, blah, blah. No. I didn’t see the movie, hence, don’t tell me about it. And another thing, even if I watched it, what’s the point talking about it?! I hate meaningless small talk, I rather watch dolphins mate for 17 hours. It’s more fun. If you exclude all the rubbish people talk about every day and their “important little opinions” about everyone and everything you would realize that there will be created a big ass silence. And that’s a good thing. People should only talk if they have something meaningful or smart to say. For example: “Watch that bus, so you don’t get killed”, or “You failed your driving test”. All sentences in people’s mouth should be informative character and a little bit for fun. But not that ha-ha humor about fat guy pretending to be a pineapple, but a real joke. Like a very close (and a very smart) person said to me once:”We can tell each other jokes but we will never be friends”. Pure intelligence. Only a little number of people should be allowed to talk, hence if you hear someone talking rubbish just gag him. You would do a world a favor but you will spend a shit load of duck tape. Remember: Silence is golden, duck tape is silver AND affordable. So tape away! And next time someone tries to retell a funny scene from a not-funny comedy series he watches like “Nanny” just punch him in the face or tell him to inhale glass. With an advice that it will improve his vocal abilities. Better done than said. Or even better. Not doing anything and not saying anything. Ahhhhh, my personal utopia.

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